Breaking news people are annoying
Should we get over it and hang anyway?
Lately with so many people yelling on the internet I barely want to be there but then I spend too much time in my head and that causes another problem. Something I’m hearing…people are lonely, feeling isolated, and a lack of community. I’m not talking the infamous male loneliness epidemic, that’s a whole other thing. However…it does seem to have been forgotten connection and community isn’t available on Amazon Prime, perfect, or self defined. Generally it’s joined and cultivated, meaning it’s not always linear or tidy.
The truth is being around people in any capacity is going to be annoying at some point. Have we become so obsessed with feeling good, self care and happiness we can’t hang for one second cause someone did something weird? I’m not talking hate speech or egregious. I mean the process of bumping up against one another in a space as adults. Didn’t this used to be the spice of life? Isn’t the whole point of spirituality, self help, therapy, any of it to be okay no matter where you are versus needing every space to be a 10/10?
It’s made me wonder if when people say community they mean intimacy. There seems to be a real lack of intimacy and connection going on. The stakes feel too high to just hang and see what happens. People are hungry to feel seen and known but are we being Goldilocks about our quests? If it’s not exactly right we bail. Are we becoming fuckbois of life? Dabbling when we’re bored but if it’s not exactly what we had in mind masking our disappointment in deflection? Are we going from space to space asking it to meet our needs versus asking what we can contribute? Or to keep going with this fuckboi metaphor, gasp if there’s some element of real do we have to run?
What gets me is how a lot of us feel is valid. People have been burned before, and yes often retreating will bring peace. The problem isn’t going away though. We can ignore human behavior as much as we want but we haven’t figured out how to AI our emotional needs. We’re gonna have to figure out how to love again. Keeping myself in community even when I have not wanted to be has been good for me. It’s strengthened my character and enriched my life, and no I did not love every minute of it. I do accept its the price of admission for what keeps me connected to my own humanity. It’s forced me to grow in ways I wouldn't have which is the thing I feel like we have to ask ourselves. If we’re always retreating to stay the same is it us or them? Are we setting unrealistic expectations or do we not belong anywhere?
I want to offer something community driven here, beyond just subjecting ya’ll to my thoughts. I’ve had some ideas but nothing has felt just right yet. I’d be curious what you want or if that’s something that even interests you.
Things I have thought about:
“Co-working time together” in quotes because the work can be whatever you want, time to work on creative/spiritual endeavors, clean your apt. I don’t care just a lil time together with some time for shares up at the top and then we get to work, a close. We go back to life
Moon circles, probs New Moon cause I like it more
Monthly Ask/Offer where people can either seek advice, guidance about something up in their life work, and people can offer resources, support or whatever they’ve got. This would be structured in some kind of way to avoid group therapy.
Dedicated creative time, this is something where we’d start with a meditation or a prompt and then play essentially.
The biggest thing I want to avoid is it feeling like group therapy because I’m not a therapist, and I don’t think grievance culture needs more support. This has been born out of how much I enjoy doing the book club with paid subscribers where we genuinely look forward to hanging out, chatting with one another and asking how do you go about this? That’s the vibe I’m seeking and would like to provide. You in?
xx. A
P.S. Also as a reminder ya’ll get a discount on readings until I remember to kill the code. Use code SPRING and get 20% off.